Pain, Suffering and the Cost of Groceries

Master Hard Lessons with Gratitude and Humility

Hard Lessons

It is hard to ignore news headlines. I saw one the other day that caught my eye. It seems the convict/president-elect is talking about how hard it is to lower the cost of groceries once they have gone up. “What is this world coming to, when you can’t trust the word of a convicted felon?“ I thought to myself sarcastically and laughed. You see, I have more than one friend and family member who cited the high cost of groceries as their reason for voting for him. Despite how predictable this development was, I am conflicted about my feelings. On the one hand, I honestly feel bad for the people I know struggling with the high cost of groceries. On the other hand, I know that for some, the only way to learn is to experience pain and suffering. And sadly, I even know a very few who despite tons of pain and suffering never learn a damn thing and boy is that frustrating, but only when you love them.

I strive for myself and my children to evolve, improve, and live up to our potential; I wish this for everyone. To get there, I understand that pain and suffering are a part of life’s journey. For those living life at the margins, pain and suffering can become a way of life, which is no way to live. Hopefully, you will find this helpful.

Joy and Happiness

I’ve written about benevolent hedonism recently (the good hedonism), the idea that you don’t voluntarily submit to pain or cause pain to another soul, and you live a life of joy and happiness. This approach works because you know that to live a life, it is your fate to experience pain. If we ask people to practice Amor Fati and love their fate, we ask them to know that pain will come sometimes and to love that, too.

Gratitude

Gratitude was my mother’s secret weapon for getting through life. She had a difficult life, but you would never know if you were lucky to meet and talk with her. There is a relationship between gratitude and pain that is difficult to confront. When we think of pain, we may first relate it to something external that comes towards us, and we do not factor in the pain that comes from our choices, as if we have no agency in life. This pain is internal, as in coming from a self-inflicted wound, and how we experience and respond to both types of pain may be related to gratitude. To pursue happiness daily, we must include practicing gratitude as a crucial part of that journey. Without practicing gratitude, our pain devolves into anger, bitterness, and hopelessness. The genuine and active pursuit of gratitude can make you happy, no matter what internal or external force makes you unhappy. Gratitude becomes a way to move through life’s inevitable pain and suffering. Without gratitude, our perspectives on the conditions of our lives deteriorate -over time, we risk greater and more profound self-inflicted wounds.

The Cycle of Pain and Suffering

I have read that lessons continue in a loop until we learn from them. Repeating lessons until you master them makes good logical sense. But don’t let simplicity fool you; it is profound and accurate.

Questions for you to consider:

· What cyclical lessons is “life” trying to teach you?

· Do you ever feel stuck? (if so, ask what lesson you are not understanding)

· Are you an expert at distracting yourself from your problems? Why do you do that?

Each situation may put you in an endless loop of pain and suffering. When you think about problems or lessons that repeat in your life, ask yourself some more questions and answer honestly:

· Did I cause this problem?

· Can I fix this problem?

· What can I let go of?

· What am I afraid of?

Searching for Answers

We spend most of our lives searching for answers. The amount of energy, focus, and humility we put into this search directly correlates to the success or failure of this mission. Humility, authenticity, self-knowledge, and a healthy dose of empathy and compassion will pay huge dividends when working towards a happy life and help you avoid endless loops of pain and suffering. When it comes to pain and suffering, you are in more control than you realize.

It all begins with gratitude. As my mother used to say, when you wake up in the morning, express your gratitude – even if it’s a morning when the only thing you can imagine being grateful for is that you woke up.

Some mornings are like that.