Side Dishes
Feeling Down? Turn it Around!
What do you do for encouragement?
Do you have a go-to strategy for when life positions you at an inflection point and you are unsure what will happen next?
Are sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll your thing? Maybe it's food; how about a pint of frozen deliciousness from Ben & Jerry’s? Music, booze? Perhaps a good talk with that one friend who gets you?
No matter who you ask, every adult will have some strategy for when a “pick-me-up” is needed. And we all need it at one point or another. I was reminded one morning recently that kids need pick-me-ups periodically as well. As parents, we are in an important position to guide them toward positive self-care rituals.
I cherish my mornings with the kids. Most mornings follow a routine. My husband and I wake up, he takes care of the dog, and I check on the kids. My son wakes up first, gets dressed, packs his bag, grabs a snack, and is ready to go. My daughter gets up, brushes her teeth, and dresses herself having set out her clothes the night before. I used to help her with her hair each morning, but lately, she does it herself. It is just one of the many things I will give up as she grows up. Once dressed, my daughter and I head downstairs, usually holding hands as she talks in a stream-of-consciousness style about nearly everything on her mind. I love these days. Then we typically pack her knapsack and snack and get the kids breakfast in the kitchen. My husband and I walk them to the end of our driveway to the bus stop and see them off to school. My children are happy kids.
Like adults, kids can have their moments too. One day recently, it was just that morning for my daughter. Alice came to our bedroom while I was getting dressed, and my husband was already downstairs taking care of our dog, Grover. She lay in my bed and said she was too sick to go to school. I asked her what was wrong, as she didn't seem sick. She then shared issues and conflicts with other kids that were bothering her. It was nothing serious; it was just a level of complexity she needed help sorting out. My son came into our room and offered to talk with her, which I welcomed so I could finish getting ready. When I returned, they were hugging and laughing. It was perfect. I asked my son what he said, then stoppped and told him he didn't have to tell me, as it was their secret. Later that morning, my son told me what he said. He told her, "Those other people are the side dishes; you are the main course. Don't worry about them."
After hearing that, my daughter was a different person. I thought it was brilliant. He made her feel heard and cared for, gave her attention, and offered solid advice to which a kid could understand and relate. I am a proud parent. His advice was everything.
We all face inflection points throughout our lives; kids do, too. Whether this point comes about as a result of an external factor, such as someone saying or doing something that shifts your perspective, or as a result of personal growth. Lightbulbs go off, and a new wisdom about life emerges. These inflection points are precious gifts if you train yourself to recognize them.
Even some developments that initially seem non-optimal can turn around and work for our betterment. Life is a journey full of people and situations that impact our happiness.
Has a side dish ever let you down? I thought so. Remember not to worry about the side dishes; you are the main course.